Brownie and the elves
by TripleThreat123
Summary: A bit crazy... Dedicated to a good (Insane) friend of mine. A crazy girl manages to gain contol of the elves. North s elves.
1. Chapter 1

_**Yeah… I get too bored. This story is dedicated to my friend, Megan. Thanks… (She`s insane.)**_

_**I came up with this at, like, 2:00 AM. Don`t blame me…**_

_**Here goes:**_

"Lalalalalalalaa!" Brownie danced around, using her thumbs to hook on to her suspenders.

North glanced up sharply. "_Shostakovich! _What is she doing here?!"

Brownie declared herself leader of the elves. "YAY! I HAVE GAINED YOUR TRUST, MY ARMY!"

The elves obliged by saying, "Hoopha hoompha hoompha…" Over and over.

Jack glanced at North. "Erm, is she on your 'Nice' list or 'Naughty' list?"

"Neither," North gave a sheepish shrug.

"WHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?" Jack blinked. "I thought _everyone _went on one of those two!"

"Like you, Frosty?" Bunny casually commented.

"Erm, what list are _**you **_on, Aster?" Jack`s face had a combination of a smirk and his signature impish grin.

Bunny glared. "I`m too old for that Naughty-Nice thingy."

"Oh, yeah? How old is 'old'?" Jack cocked an eyebrow. Bunny threw an egg at him.

"LALALALA… And THEN you stir it until it`s macaroni-y and cheesy!" Brownie tossed some mustard into an uninflated beach ball, then used a vacuum to stir it allllllll up.

The elves all nodded at their new master`s wisdom. They began uttering, "Uppa uppauppauppaaaaaa…"

Then, they broke into a musical performance of "Living on a Prayer" with a series of their usual grunts.

Sandy shrugged and helped himself to a platter of brownies-

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" A sudden wail from, lo and behold, a distraught Brownie. Sandy looked at his snack, added two and two, and, with a sheepish smile, hid the brownie from Brownie.

"MY FRIENDS!" She gasped, the elves chanting ("Llalalalalalalammmoooofffff!") She yanked the platter away from Phil and, with a loud crash, landed in a pile of waffles. "I SAVED YOU THAT WAS CLOSE MY MINONS BOW AND DO GANGAM STYLE!"

This is where the elves all started the can-can. Okay, sure. Why not?

Rob the Elf couldn't have chosen a better time to fall asleep.

"ROBBIE!" Brownie shouted. "Guys, he`s dead!" All the elves started to "Havana" out "Call me maybe", while they buried Rob in a pile of potato chips.

Bunny growled. "Grrrrr… And I hated the real version of this song…."

Jack patted him on the back, then shot a sideways glance at North. "Well, is she on Nice or Naughty?"

North sighed. "Jack, I have three lists. One: Nice. Two: Naughty. Three: Nutty."

"Oh." Jack nodded.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

_**IN WAL-MART**_

Heather investigated some fruit. A woman walked by, talking into a Bluetooth (Or whatever those thingys are called) but Heather didn`t know that.

"Hi, how are you?" The woman smiled warmly and picked up a papaya.

Heather didn`t know this person, but she said hello. "Hey, how have you been?"

"I am on the phone." The woman glared.

Heather pointed at the fruit stand. **"I am talking to the cantaloupe."**

All of a sudden, Brownie and the elves raced in, dressed as varieties of hula dancers, Stitch (Oh wait, maybe that wasn`t a costume…), llamas, elves, Legolas, Batman, and Obi-Wan Kenobi, who just so happened to be selling cabbages at the moment.

Obi-Wan blinked. "If I`m Obi-Wan, does that make you Obi-Two?"

Then, AhsokaTano141516 and rylanwaterbender and Animegirl3210 raced in, shouting, "It`s a trap!"

Brownie yelled, then knocked over the cabbages. "MY CABBAGES!" Obi-Wan shouted desperately.

Pitch came along and gained control of the corn. "Mahwah now I CONTROL ALL OF YOU Bow down before me now!"

Master Yoda skipped in, dressed in Padme`s pretty pink dress and wearing Tooth`s headdress. "Ha-ha he used no grammar funny that is!

Brownie began traumatizing everyone by doing the can can, and then switching to Gangam style.

The elves and the Brownie began throwing assorted fancy fruits at the wall, then, guess what?

There was a trap.

_**THE END**_

_**Yes, a bit… Out there, I admit, but if you stayed up until six in the morning surviving on sugar, you`d feel like you watched "Labyrinth" sixteen times.**_

_**I don`t even suggest watching it twice in a row.**_

_**REVIEW!**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Yes, you all hate me. RESUME!**_

"LALALALALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Brownie shrieked in ecstatic shock. "DID YOU KNOW A PINEAPPLE HAS NOOOO PINE!?" She grabbed a chainsaw and massacred the cheesecake. "I mean, WHATKINDOFPERSONNAMESACAKEAF TERAMATERIALTHAT`S**NOT**INIT?" She paused. Then, jumping six feet in the air, she exclaimed, "GASP! Did you hear that! I tried to say it`s not but it came as SNOT! HAHA! HOW FUNNY IS THAT?"

The elves all chimed in agreement, while they were dipping their bare feet into the guts of the cheesecake.

"And cheesecake…?!" Brownie bent over so she was face to face(ish) with the cheesecake. "YOU SHAME ME MINIONS DISPOSE OF THIS... THIS…" Brownie burst out into crazy bawling. "THIS TRECHOROUS

DISPLAY WHILES I GO AND PLAY _ASSASIANS CREED_!"

The elves skipped to the floor and started licking up the tiny foot pressed cake.

North grimaced. "Okay, that is disgusting."

Bunny snorted and resumed playing with his boomerang, taking care to not slice open his paw with a convex ground razor on the edge. "Ya think? Brownie`s gonna play _Assassin's Creed_ now. She`s possibly gonna reset the entire system."

It took Jack point four seconds for him to process this and exactly two seconds for his face to morph from sheer eggnog love to total horror. "It took me three and a half weeks to set up the record!" He hooted. Then, jumping up like the seat of his pants were on fire, he raced out to save his world record.

Bunny chuckled. "OW!" He suddenly outburst. He dropped his boomerangs and sucked up the blood on one of his three fingers.

Sandy seized Bunny`s paw, seemed to _tsk, tsk, tsk, _then quickly exited. "What`s he doing?" Bunny applied extra pressure to his wound. "I`m standing here with a-"

"Bunny, what happened?" Heather was escorted in by a pleased Sandman.

"Oh, Heath-" Bunny caught sight of Heather`s eyes fleeing from his face to his paw. "NO." He knew a woman could read minds, and Heather was a pro. "It`s nothing." He pulled his paw behind his back. "Nothing at all-"

Heather paced over to the Easter Bunny and reached for his paw, but he jerked up so she couldn`t reach it. "Bunny-"

"No."

"Let me-"

"No."

"Bunny, I need to-"

"NO!"

Heather paused. Bunny turned and started off, but Heather instantly shouted:

"E. ASTER BUNNYMUND, YOU GET YOU FURRY LITTLE COTTON TAIL BACK HERE THIS VERY INSTANT OR ELSE I`LL COME AFTER YOU!"

Jack, who had just saved his record, had been standing by the door for five seconds and overheard this comment. "Whoa, Bunny… You got told…" He muttered.

"But-"

"RIGHT NOW, ASTER!" Heather pointed to the spot in front of her, violently jamming her pointer finger down on the spot she wanted him to stand.

Bunny scowled and muttered something under his breath, but walked over anyways.

North stared in shock, then smiled slyly and stroked his chin.

Brownie walked over, wearing an afro. "POLKA DOT POLKA DOT PITCH BLACK!"

Jack picked up a small figurine of the boogeyman and chunked it at Tooth, who gladly hit it with a baseball bat. _**(Yep. Pun intended…)**_

_**THE END OF CHAPTER 2**_

_**Well, what did you think? ;)**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Boredom is weird.**_

Brownie was in the basement, playing "Dance party with King Julian and the waffle cheez-its.", while Tooth was staring at Marcus, day dreamily, while Marcus was staring at his father (North) in utter bewilderment. Why?

Well, North was knitting a pretty pink sweater with ponies and rainbows.

Yep.

Well, Jack was playing poker with Cupid, and they were using potato chips. Jack couldn`t play poker with Bunny because Bunny was jumping around like a hyper grasshopper in a field of daisies.

Brownie was magically making rainbows with a ninja sword made of waffles. "YAY SO KEWL!" She shouted.

North glared at Phil who was staring off into space. "What did you eat for lunch?"

"Just a leftover piece of cake…" Phil cautiously hid behind a pillow from the hyperactive North.

"CAKE?!" North shrieked, sounding like a girl in a horror movie. "THAT CAKE WAS MY MASTERPEICE!"

"LALALAAAA GOOGIES!" Bunny happily shouted, waving his paintbrush around in an arc. "OHMIGOSH IMAGINE HOW MANY GOOGIES I COULD PAINT WITH THE MAGICAL MONSTER DRINK! THAT'S A LOT OF EGGS! HOLY COW WITH PINK CHEESE!"

Sandy looked at Jack and made a question mark over his head.

Jack blushed slightly. "Erm, I gave North a big ol` mug of caramel latte, and Bunny…" Jack paused and looked at Cupid, who was staring him in disbelief. Sandy motioned Jack to resume. "Ummm… Is a _little bit_ of a Monster drink bad for him?"

Bunny grabbed North`s sweater and threw it at the wall, just because he could. North burst out bawling. "Bunny, you are _so _wasteful! All that pretty yarn… on the floor…"

"TRALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I LOVE BEING WASTEFUL!" Bunny jumped around and did the Macarena in exuberant joy.

Then, North grabbed the chocolate pudding and threw it at Marcus. The pudding splatted all over his shirt.

So, Marcus had to take off his shirt and left to change into another one.

Some random fangirls ran in and squealed fangirlish-ly. "OHMIGOSH THEY`RE SO SHINY!" One shouted.

Tooth changed from day dreamy and in lala land to the Hulk. "GET AWAY HE`S MINE!"

Whilst they were arguing over the extreme hottie, Jack, Cupid, and Sandy had to cook up a plan to make them all better.

So they slapped them in the face with fish, and that didn`t help. So Sandy knocked them all out with dreamsand.

Then Brownie declared war on gravity.

So, yeah. THE END.

_**I was bored, Okay? Sorry about the shortness… REVIEW.**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Whoop golly. Looks like another chapter. (Sighs.) Well. First:**_

_**HallieHalloween- You`re going to see a little bit of that here. ;)**_

_**THECRAZYFANGIRL- Batman should not, I repeat, SHOULD FREAKING NOT, wear pink and purple. And get Robin away from the red bull, he`s freaking me out. O_O**_

_**Qwerty124- Narwhales live in the icy waters of Antarctica. You can find them in the hot African forest, because they are native to the Sahara. BACON.**_

_**Rylanwaterbender- No, I did not watch Labyrinth at 2 in the morning.**_

_**RapunzelInTheSnow- Brownie is just insane. 'Nough said. :**_

_**Now, back to our regularly scheduled program.**_

Sandman was, after several hundred years in his long life of being (Usually) serious, about to go insane.

Yessiree, ya had that right.

Well, this is the way our heroes discovered this shocking fact. So, everyone was, like, lounging around in North`s workshop, when Brownie ran in (Can`t have the story without her).

"Oh what a TRALALALALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL AAAAAAAAA! AND SOMEONE ATE MY MONOPRICE TABLET! WHEAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! UH HUH!" Brownie was (Kinda) break dancing. "AND MY CHEESE FLEW TO THE MOON!"

"I don`t think Manny would enjoy situation," North casually mused, having recovered his near-Brownie-level-of-total-and-complete-utter-destruction situation.

All of a sudden, everything was quiet.

Too quiet.

Stupidly quiet.

Too, too quiet.

Amazingly quiet.

So quiet, you could hear the elves thinking, _banananananaaaaa BATMAN!_

(Okay, okay, they get it`s quiet, carry on already!)

Sheesh. Anyways, everyone turned and- lo and behold- Sandman was standing there.

Oh, but it wasn`t just ordinary Sandy.

It was Sandy…

**With sunglasses.**

Jack`s mind went _BOOM!_

Inside Cupid`s head, there were a thousand little Cupids, screaming and running around, waving their little arms around, shooting tiny arrows everywhere.

So, yeah, Sandy was standing there, wearing sunglasses.

Big deal?

I think so. See, he hadn`t worn those glasses since the Roman reign of panic, A.K.A the point of time in the Roman Empire where people were randomly going into fits of giggling like schoolgirls, falling asleep in piles of hay, eating huge amounts of chocolate, and re-enacting that one scene where the giant monkey man climbs up the leaning tower of pizza in Godzilla.

And Sandy caused that. (Don`t ask how, he just put in his two cents and threw dreamsand around aimlessly.)

Well, the other Guardians looked shocked at how he then started to do the Irish Riverdance. (Gotta love them Irish! 3)

It was actually really impressive.

So then, they all made a Harlem Shake video.

Stitch then danced in, singing TobyMac`s _Me without you_ at the top of his alien lungs.

Then, it all changed when the Fire Nation attacked.

_**Yeah, that stunk. I FAILED YOU! *Bursts out bawling* Bwahahahaahaaaaaaa!**_

_**Anyways, look at my other stories, And R-E-V-I-E-W! Please, it really helps with my motivation. The more Reviews I got, the quicker inspiration comes to me.**_

_**Now, please excuse me, I must go stop a crazy elf throwing a party in my attic.**_

_**If you like this story, and you have read this entire thing, and if you are bored, please look at my other ROTG stories. Like those, too.**_

_**Love ya, Bye! 3**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Happy Mother`s day!**_

_**This chapter is dedicated to my mother, (Which she will never read because she never gets on Fanfiction.):**_

_**So, yeah, last minute gifts and all…**_

_**Here ya go.**_

"DO YA LIKE WAFFLES!?" The crazed maniac called Brownie ran around the room, looking at her substitutes for the elves, which were potatoes with toothpicks.

No answer.

"WHY IS IT NOT THE SAME ZOEMGEE!?" Brownie cried and threw her potatoes against a wall while eating all the spray cheese in a can.

Then, the Periwinkle waffle angel appeared before her. "Brownie, don`t fret."

"ZOEMGEE! THAT PURPLE WAFFLE ANGEL!"

"Actually, I`m periwinkle." The giant waffle seemed slightly annoyed. "Anywho, you have someone. Go and shout, 'My mother is a tootsie roll who eats cheese and flies on pickles.' Got it?"

"Okay!" Brownie shouted, stabbing a potato with a giant Sharpie marker.

She went into the upper world and shouted, "My tootsie roll can fly on a German pickle who eats cheese that is actually a disco ball in disguise!"

A wacky crazy guy with mussed brown hair and wearing a train conductor`s outfit shouted, "Reeeeeaaaaallllaaayyyyyyyy? COOLIO, EX DEE! **(XD)"**

And, yeah, so now there was Brownie, her friend cookie, and her twin brother, Butternut. **(Ohhhhhhh Shnap…)**

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ \/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Sandy still had on his awesome sunglasses **(Because everyone loves them)** and doing a cool disco thing. **(Yeah Sandy, bring on the Seventies! …Eighties? …Sixties? O_O)**

North was just glad that there was only Brownie and Cookie. No other Nuttiness.

Bunny grinned. "Boy, Sandy, ya like disco, don`t ya?" Sandy happily nodded and began to dance. **(He can disco dance sooo good, he beat Michal Jackson! Sorry to you MJ fans out there, but I never did care for Mikey.)**

"Wow, Sandy," Heather grinned. "You`re really good."

"Hidden talents," Jack said as Cupid loaded him up with Mother`s Day cards. He grunted under the stunning mass a billion pieces of paper could have. "Why are we doing this, Cupid?"

Cupid looked around the pile at her cousin, giving him a stare as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Uh, durh, for the hundreds of people who forgot Mother`s day."

"Oh."

"WHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTT T!" A sudden bang caused all the cards to fall out of Jack`s hands with a look of utter surprise and shock.

"_Shtocokovich,_" North whispered in surprise.

Bunny almost died. "There`s three!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Jack and Cupid shouted Luke Skywalker style, then fell onto the floor, just about dead.

"I AM NUTTERBUT!" The crazy guy that shared an amazing resemblance to Brownie shouted hysterically, throwing his arms in the sky.

"No, you`re a SKYBIRD!" Cookie argued.

"WOW! I CAN FLY!" He flapped his arms hysterically and started floating.

Brownie was happily reunited with her Elfies.

And everyone was left wondering where the heck Butternut came from.

_**Yeah.**_

_**I`m weird.**_

_**Read this at midnight.**_

_**You will be dying of laughter.**_

_**Now, for something to show you moms:**_

watch?v=6C1dHGB7J94

_**Yeah, just copy and paste that onto your URL address and watch.**_

_**YAY! Whoa! Pyramid of words! How awesome is that, friends? AWESOME!**_

_**So, yeah, I wanted to tell you, I feel happy for mom, 'cause I`m growing up and not gonna **_

_**Be around home for a long time. I`ll always be her (Second oldest) little girl. Any ideas? Leave reviews! Peace off.**_


	6. Brownie wrote this

_**This is a story Brownie wrote.**_

_**(Pray. Now.)**_

ONCE UPON A TIME I HAD A CHEEZ WAFFLE THEN I HAD A MATRESS AND IT WENT HAZUKAHAZUKA GREMANS GREMANS CRY THE PIGS

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAT GUY PINHNHNHNHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

! #$%^&*()_+_)(*&^%$# ! #$%^&*()_+_)(*&^%$# !~! #$%^&*()_+)(*&^%$# !~! #$# # # #$%^&*(*(*&*(&^%$# !~! #$%^~*!$#(_+_|}{":l:"?:p{_+)(*&^%$%^&*()_(*&^%^&()_p:lm nbvcxzsaw#e$rt%^yuio(*&^%$# !#$%^&u*iop_)(*&^%$# WSDCFGHKL:PO)(*&^%$# wsdxcvbnmlOI*&^%$# #$%^&*i(oL:m BVcDXSq !~ ~! #$%^&*(o

My waffle bug likes chese

Cheese

CHEZZE CHEESESEEEEEE CHEEZY FACE MACE HAHA IT RHYMES

THEN EVERYONE STARTED CLAPPING FOR THE MAD KOW UNTIL SOME ONE STOLE HIM THEN WHEN HE DIED THEY HAD HIM STUFF LIKE A WATER BUFFALO STUFFED

TYHASERTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT TTTTTTTTGYHFRVGBN

LALAL

NO NO MY TOMATO CRIED WHILE EATING A HAT

OH CRISPY CREMS OH CRISPY CREAMS HOW LOVEY IS YOUR MAGICAL POTATO WAFFLE

… _**So, you like tomatos and waffles and potatos…?**_

I AM TELLING TEH STORIE

_**MMKAY, sheesh…..**_

SCOTTISH HATS BLBLLLLLLLALDLELDLSALSLLALL####### IS AN ILLIGAL NAME IN ENGLAND AND FAMOUS IN WAL-MART

CHEESE SPRED

DONE WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEE

…_**That`s it… *Sigh* Okay…**_


End file.
